MITCHELL Its graduation day for four participants of James Valley Drug and DUI Court. Davison County Sheriffs Deputy Grant Lanning has been selected as the keynote speaker. A solid choice. Hes the jail administrator, whos supported the program for years.
What no one knows is that Grant wrote two speeches.
One contains the message the court envisioned: That when people down on their luck make poor choices in life, it doesnt define them.
It gives him an out. An opportunity to delay his truth, a reprieve from revealing his secret. Because the second speech Grant wrote is more honest and life-defining.
After being introduced, Grant walks up with both speeches tucked in a black notebook. When he pulls the pages out, on top is the truth, what hes been hiding for years.
Grant takes it as a sign. Lets do this. Lets see what happens.
So who am I? Well, Im a small-town kid that grew up with a dream to always be a cop, Grant says.
He tells how he went to South Dakota State University to study sociology. How he joined the National Guard and during college was deployed to Afghanistan. How he returned, finished his degree and started in law enforcement.
At first, he says, he wanted to put everyone in handcuffs. Now, Grant believes in finding the best solution for someone whos struggling.
So, Grant clears his throat. When they asked me to speak, theyre going to get a little more than they bargained for.
Grant’s face starts to redden. He gets that way when hes nervous.
You talk about sober days, right? he checks with the graduates, then pauses. 2,977 sober days for me.
Eight years, one month, three weeks and six days without alcohol. There it is. The secret is out. Grant Lanning is an alcoholic.
The audience claps. Not what he was expecting.
Grant continues over the applause. You know whats really hard? All those people I work with, most of them dont know.
I didnt know, Judge Bucher says from the front row.
I know you didnt. Maybe now she will let him go a little longer with his speech, Grant jokes.
‘Share your story’
He goes on to disclose more.
How he justified his drinking with what he saw in Afghanistan, what he saw as a cop, the death he dealt with as part of his duties. How he hid bottles and was deep into his addiction when he was enforcing the law.
How even when he got sober, he was a miserable person to be around, a dry drunk. What helped him, he says, was helping others.
Toward the end, he tells the graduates how proud he is of them. To keep coming back to show other participants sobriety is possible.
Dont be afraid to share your story, he concludes, because you never know who you might help.
The audience gives him a standing ovation.
Grants boss, Davison County Sheriff Steve Harr, enters from the back. While he missed Grants speech, the sheriff already knows. Grant told him during his job interview three years ago.
Harr had no reservations hiring Grant. I’ve been around the block enough doing this job to realize that people can have issues in their personal life and change.
Harrs former boss, previous Sheriff Steve Brink, also struggled with alcohol. Like Grant, Brink publicly shared about his recovery at a James Valley Drug and DUI Court graduation.
Ten minutes after Grant sat down from his speech, he texted Dexton. Holy sh I did it.
F yea you did!!! replied Dexton, who celebrates 11 years of sobriety this month.
Im ready for my story to start helping others, Grant texts back, sending Dexton the recording.
Wanting it
Months after his graduation speech, Grant sits down for an interview in a Mitchell deli booth.
Since the ceremony, hes run into a few who were in the audience at graduation, arrested and back in jail.
One of them told him, You get it. Grant replied, I do get it, but you have to want it. You have to be able to do this.”
After years of drinking, Grant knew when he was ready. For years, he thought he was good at hiding his drinking and the bottles. That his wife, Sydney, believed he was changing his cars oil when he went out to his garage.
I knew I had a problem for a long time, but I was not ready to look in the mirror and accept it, Grant says.
It was his wife who provided the reflection. One day, Sydney called his bluff. She grabbed Grants purple Powerade, ready to take a sip, knowing it was spiked with vodka. She was pregnant.
Dont drink it, he stopped her.
Where is it? she asked.
In the garage, back of the freezer, he acknowledges.
She helped him throw it all out. Even the cooking wine.
Recovery isnt just about being sober. For Grant, its about working on himself, his issues and sharing his story to help others.
Grant feels lighter after going public. No fallout, yet. Nor does he particularly care what others think.
The graduation speech wasnt about him. This story isnt about him. Look at me. Look how awesome I am now because I’m sober,” he mocks. No. That’s not what it’s about.
“I don’t care if 50 people read this story and 49 think What a loser.
Grant shares for one that one person who may be struggling, looking for a sign to get sober. Maybe that person is even wearing a badge.
The possibility of helping one person is worth telling it all.
Megan Luther is a freelance journalist based in Mitchell. She has been in recovery for five years.
This story was produced by South Dakota News Watch, an independent, nonprofit organization. Read more stories and donate at sdnewswatch.org and sign up for an email to get stories when they’re published. Contact Megan Luther at [email protected].
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