BROOKINGS Following the death of a loved one comes a time of mourning and grief for family and friends left behind. For them there are a variety of what can be called grief recovery programs.
One of those well-recognized programs is GriefShare, which offers hope and healing after the death of a loved one. Now GriefShare facilitators Peggy Warner-Pallos and Gary Englund who have facilitated the program two times before will be using a new version of the 13-week program beginning Aug. 18 at 5:30 p.m. at Brookings United Church of Christ, 828 Eighth St. S.
Its for anyone who has lost a loved one and is still going through the grieving process, Warner-Pallos explained. It tells everybody what the grieving process is like and how its different for everyone. Just because somebody else tells you that you ought to be inone place (on your grief journey) doesnt mean thats the right place for you. However you grieve is the right way for you to grieve.”
Both Warner-Pallos and Englund lost their spouses. Additionally Warner-Pallos lost her mother, who had lived with her for 20 years, just prior to the start of the COVID-19 pandemic; and she lost a nephew to suicide a year ago. She said GriefShare had helped her when she was grieving for her mother and her nephew.
The other thing is that people realize there are others in the same boat, Englund noted, of a loved ones survivors. They arent the only one going through this. Everyone handles it as an individual but they see hurt people are suffering, too. Part of the group support is that they can share and work through this.
When Englunds wife died in November 2020, there was no grief support group in Brookings. There wasnt anywhere to go, he explained. I depended on a sister-in-law and an old friend, because there wasnt anything to go to.
When my mom lost my dad, she went to the Catholic Church. They had (a support group). It helped her.
Joyful life after death of loved one
We have seen that in the two groups that we have done in the past people come together and help each other, Warner-Pallos said. Last year at this time we had four or five people who all had lost their spouses in the last year. We watched them come together and support each other and share how theyre dealing with it.
You will always remember that person in your heart, Warner-Pallos explained. There might not be an end to the grief. There is a way to work through it, so that you can manage it. When most people start (the program), they might only see the darkness. There is light on the other side of that.
They might never forget, but they can go on and have a joyful life after the death of a loved one. My husband is gone 25 years in September. Hell always be a part of me, because I am the person I am now because he was in my life.
There are several stages of grief following the death of a loved one; but people go through them at different times: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
There are people out there who want to help you, Warner-Pallos said. And we welcome everyone, because we know what its like. Were here for everybody, whether they have a strong faith or they have no faith.
We arent here to convert anybody, Englund added.
People who attended past sessions the two had facilitated included those who had experienced: deaths of spouses, children, and family members who had committed suicide. And there is no set number of people needed for the program: Well be here for one person, Warner-Pallos said, if we can help one person go through what we went through.
Volunteers, no paid counselors
I think one thing its important to know is that these two are volunteers, the Rev. Mark Johnsen, pastor of Brookings United Church of Christ, pointed out. I think thats attractive to some people who dont necessarily want to pay a counselor. They just want to talk to someone.
There are no costs associated with the program. Johnsen per se is not part of the program. He provides the venue for the program to meet. The program is faith-based non-denominational and everybody is welcome.
People are welcome in at any time, Warner-Pallos said. Show up and register.
The first session of the 13-week program is at UCC from 5:30 to 7 p.m. on Aug. 18, and continues each Sunday at the same time and place through Nov. 17. The two facilitators suggested that each attendee come to a minimum of three sessions that need not be in any consecutive order and again, that is not mandatory.
Johnsen explained that this years GriefShare program is using a brand-new curriculum. Each group gathering has three key parts: a 30-minute video filled with helpful guidance; discussion of grief-related issues; and personal recovery tips gained through a personal workbook.
A sampling of topics discussed includes: Your Grief Journey Loneliness and Sadness Fear and Anxiety Anger Questions for God What Do I Live For Now?
Additional information may be found online at griefshare.org. To join the group noted above, contact Brookings Church of Christ at 605-697-2882.
Contact John Kubal at [email protected].
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