Editor’s note: This Speakout was submitted by Ron Stover of Brookings.
Few people stop to consider why Americans color code our babies. Why do we dress boys in blue and girls in pink? Why do we put blue head bands on the heads of boy babies and pink head bands on the heads of girl babies? The simple reason is that we desperately need to know the sex of a baby in order to know how to treat it.
Newborn boy and girl babies are just not that different. They are about the same size, look about the same, and act very similarly. In fact if the baby has on a diaper it is very difficult to know whether it is a boy baby or girl baby.
But once we know its sex we immediately see differences that do not exist and start treating the babies very differently. We see the boy as strong and tough (and a potential line backer for the Chicago Bears) and the girl as delicate, graceful and agile (and potentially a successful ballerina).
The important point here is that we know how to treat a boy baby or girl baby but we do not know how to treat a baby baby.
That point is easy to prove. Imagine a parent has dressed the newborn in a sexually neutral color like green or orange. He or she puts the baby in a stroller, and walks with the baby around the neighborhood. Imagine a stranger comes up and looks into the stroller.
That stranger will then say what he or she must say (it is required by a little known amendment to the US Constitution I think Amendment 10.5). He or she will say Oh, its so cute! which is of course a lie because babies are not cute.
They are ugly. They are purple and all shriveled up because they have been under water for nine months, they are bald, cross-eyed, and have huge dents on each side of its head where doctors have used pliers (they call them forceps but they are actually big pliers) to pull the baby out.
After the stranger has lied and said Oh, its so cute! the stranger will then ask What is it? The parent knows what the stranger is asking but pretends not to know. The parent should seem to be very confused, look at the baby and back at the stranger, and respond Its a baby. The stranger will of course respond No! No! and again ask What is it? The parent should again seem very confused, look at the baby, and respond, Its a human being.
The stranger is clearly desperate to know if the baby is a boy or girl. The parent should not tell. It will drive the stranger crazy.
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